Question of the Week: What’s up with the reverse motion?

By Tom Peterson

Welcome to Question of the Week, a weekly news column that poses questions to locals about life, politics, culture, economics, health, and more. Our hope at CCC News is that having this space dedicated to being curious about other people’s experiences can help us to deepen our understanding of people from all walks of life. 

This week's question is: What’s up with the reverse motion?

Reports of toilets flushing in the reverse direction in different locations around the Gorge have been flooding in for several days. Counterclockwise water has been seen swirling about in several different thrones around town. We took to the streets to see if other folks had witnessed this strange phenomenon as well.

Frank Further, 68, Goldendale

We caught up with Frank near Shanon’s Ice Cream in TD where he was enjoying a handmade waffle cone and a cigar at the same time. The smoke drifted above his lips.

“Funny you should mention it,” he said between licks and smoke rings. “When I got up this morning and hit the can, I thought I was just tired when I saw that swirl reversal. I turned the light on, hit the Febreze and then gave it another flush… It swirled like I was in Sydney, Australia. Crikey, Mate! I was kind of afraid to mention it.”

“What’s it mean, kid?”

“Well, I’m not su…,” I said.

You got a lighter? You killed my cherry with all this talking. Hold my cone.”

Della Dawn, 86, The Dalles

Walking up Brewery Grade we ran into Miss Dawn who was walking a hairless quivering cat named Chili. 

“What? You pullin’ my leg?” she said.

“No, we’ve been getting reports,” I said.

“Huh? That’s foolishness. Get on, now. Come back when you got something real to talk about,” she said and started throwing cat kibble at me.

“You just wastin’ my time. Chili, you don’t mind him. Dumd-a#$ reporters ain’t got no sense, anyhow. Didn’t your mama teach you nothin.’”

Sharon Cokes, 92, Mosier

On our way to MoCo after a quick Cidery tour, we stambled about Mosier looking for more clues. That swirl, that incessant backwords swirl was haunting, glugging and glugging. We ran into Miss Cokes on Route 30. She seemed a Pepsi short of a six. But she was likely holding back. She was a cagey one and a true adversary in conversation. But I wore her down.

“Swirling? Huh?

“People have been noticing their toilets flushing counterclockwise,” I said.

“What?”

“Counterclockwise.”

“Oh, that’s just down the street, next to Ripskirt Hawaii Warehouse. Just take a left at Washington.”

No, reverse motion? Have you seen it in your bathroom?

“Mosier? Oh, it’s named after Jonah Mosier. He built sawmills here a long time ago. His kid built my house. I don’t want any cookies. “

Huck Huge, 32, Bingen

Having rhetorically vanquished Miss Cokes, I set out for some additional evidence. I drove across the bridge in HR and came upon Huck near his ‘76 Econoline Ford.

“Oh Dude, I’ve totally seen it. Like a backflip of light from the gods. Like an epic raw 580 heli with bluebird back and a yardsale landing in fresh deeeep pow. Need a snorkel for that, ha.”

“That swirl sent a bad chill down my spine. It spit up black galvey frag stirring in my old sitter like coffee grounds in a white Russian. I dropped the lid like a backscratcher off the edge of a fat tube.”

“What’s up with that, dude? Seems sketch.”

This Little Guy - that is what he actually named this dog. He’s not even little. Cool pack though. Sore feet no more, ha.

“Right?” I said.

“Right, shhhyeah. Sick. I am afraid of going back in there. I’m sleeping in the van in the parking lot tonight. Can you spare a Coleman can? Gets mighty chill by 4 a.m. Need that blue blaze to keep the flanges flaming, har ah ha ha ha ha.”

“Dude, that could kill you. Carbon monoxide,” I said.

“I sleep with the door open. Let nature in, right? Wake up, fresh. Sometimes with a new friend like this little guy.”

Confirmation

While Huck and Frank were able to confirm this phenomenon verbally, it sent ideas of sunspot-fueled reverse polarity spinning through my mind. But it was not concrete.

Seeing is believing.

I needed visual confirmation of this extreme abnormality. I lamented the fact that it might take literally thousands of local toilet visits with multiple flushings. And I was up for it.

But Then we came upon this!

Roundabout backward - solid. Need we say more?

-This story is dedicated to Tim McGlothlin.

While I often feel a reverse motion- it is purely in my head as was this story’s creation. Thanks for playing along.