Living Well: I just dropped in... (On the benefits of support groups)
By Donna Henderson
One evening, as my co-leader and I closed a group meeting for family caregivers, I reminded those in attendance that one of the major benefits of participation in any support group is the opportunity it creates to simply check in with ourselves on a regular basis— to pause, to listen to our own thoughts and feelings and experiences, and to give voice to them— when that is often the one thing there is not time for in the midst of the sometimes all-consuming experience of caregiving itself. “Oh!” said one man in attendance, “It’s like the line in that song: ‘I just dropped in the see what condition my condition was in.’”
Exactly! He nailed it, with that line (which is also the title of the song itself): how support groups are, first of all, an opportunity to “just drop in to see what condition your condition is in.”
So why else might someone consider joining a support group, instead of (or in addition to) talking individually with a trusted friend or professional?
Importantly, support groups bring together people who are going through or have gone through similar experiences of challenge or loss. The common ground might be cancer, chronic medical conditions, addiction, bereavement, caregiving, parenting, or other challenges. And as anyone knows who has experienced any one of these challenges (among others), as empathetic and knowledgeable as one’s friends and professionals may be, only those who have actually experienced that loss or challenge can actually know what the experience is like, in its depths and its intimate particulars.
And since the experiences of chronic illness, cancer, bereavement, caregiving and addiction-related struggles (someone else’s or one’s own) are often profoundly isolating and lonely experiences, just meeting with others who know and experience that loneliness, also, can substantially ease the pain of navigating what can’t be “fixed.”
According to the Mayo Clinic website, some other benefits of participating in a support group may include:
* Improving skills to cope with challenges
* Staying motivated to manage chronic conditions or stick to treatment plans
* Gaining a sense of empowerment, control or hope
* Improving understanding of a disease and your own experience with it
* Getting practical feedback about treatment options
* Learning about health, economic or social resources
Support groups (as distinct from “group therapy,” which is different) come in a variety of forms, and are offered by various organizations and/or hosting platforms. They range from groups that are formally structured and facilitated, to unstructured and informal. They may be offered by a nonprofit advocacy organization, clinic, hospital or community organization…or independent of any organization and run entirely by group members. Some include an educational component, in the form of a learning curriculum, or guest speakers on related topics.
Generally speaking, though, effective groups involve a facilitator (a professional or a skilled and experienced member of the group), whose role it is to help make sure everyone has a chance to speak, to emphasize the importance of confidentiality, manage interruptions and unwanted advice-giving, keep the conversation on-topic, and assist with communication.
Groups may take the form of in-person meetings, teleconferences, or online chat communities. For many people, the pandemic-initiated shift to (and proliferation of) virtual offerings have made support groups possible and attractive to large numbers of people for whom access to in-person meetings isn’t feasible (caregivers, for instance). It also makes it more possible to choose a support group by “fit,” instead of being limited by geography. And for members of twelve-step groups who also live in small communities (where “anonymity” may be more of an ideal than a reality), it makes it possible to participate while preserving personal privacy. In fact, one of my clients found the virtual twelve-step group of her dreams in Maine, with the added benefit that (Maine being three hours ahead of the west coast) she can attend a meeting well before she starts work in the morning!
Interested in looking into a support group that might be right for you? Your doctor or therapist may be a resource for these, and medical clinics and hospitals often offer their own. Nonprofit organizations that advocate for particular medical conditions or life changes are another resource, as well as the National Institutes of Health websites for specific diseases. Or just type your question into the search bar of your browser…as a sister of mine did a few months back, after the loss of her husband to complications of a stroke, and has been tremendously supported since by several online classes, virtual support groups, and online chat groups of other widows/widowers who, as she told me, “really get it, like no-one else can.”
(Note: “Just Dropped in (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)” was written by songwriter Mickey Newberry, and became a chart hit for Kenny Rogers in 1968. )
